Friday, February 27, 2009

Internalizing... Part 2 The Dreams

Well, I should have written this part first because I'm not remembering my dreams as clearly as I was this morning. So I will just share with you last nights dream that I can remember... just know that in some way or another the two other dreams I had this week were related.

I don't know where John is in this whole thing, because the whole rest of his family, is in this dream as part of my family, but he is no where to be found. Also, the has only been faceless people in my dreams except for the members of my family.

So for the majority of my dream I was engaged to this boy whose family was very rich. We had a big family dinner put on by his family in this really fancy ballroom. All of his family aunts, uncles, cousins were all there and of course they had invited my family. My dad was there along with my mom and my siblings, but also John's mom, dad, sister, brother in law, and their kids were all there too. Yes.. odd I know.

But the best part was right before dessert they had all the "new" members of the family (babies, adoptions, other marriages etc) stand up and they all voted or something on each one as to whether or not they supported and would accept this particular person into their family. So I was standing across the room from my 'fiance' waiting my turn to be "voted on," but they skipped me so I went to the bathroom. When I got back I made a big scene by walking across the room and kissing him (not just a peck) in front of everyone ( I don't think John and I have ever kissed like that in front of people..EVER)

And mom if you're reading this, I know the reason this happened in my dream is because of how you kissed Bob at the wedding... I think I'm scarred for life! Any of you that were there are witnesses to the truthfulness of this statement ;)

Anyway, then my whole family stood up to be voted into their family. And that's when I finally saw faces on all of the people in the room... they were all the faces of Bob's family. It's also when I woke up, so the verdict's still out, the vote is still being tallied, I don't know if I'm in or out.

But that about sums it up.

My Mom and Bob's wedding was beautiful. I now have an additional 40 or so members of my family. I consider them family, I will treat them like family, I will love them like family... but I don't know if I've been voted into the family, or off the island.

Their jury is still out. I don't know if it's me, or if it's because they don't realize that my Mom will never be able to nor will she try to take the place of their mother/grandmother. I really don't understand. But if or when they decide they want me to be a part of it, I hope I'll still be just as willing as I was last Saturday to make it work.

The only problem is I'm not the most patient person. Everyone knows that!

So what do you think? Did I internalize enough of my life recently? Is it normal to have dreams like this? What is your take on my dream?

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