Thursday, September 10, 2009

Where are you from?

Right now I'm sitting in the very kitchen that I ate thousands of meals in, mostly pizza or hamburgers, had many birthday parties at, and helped my mom tape straight lines so she could paint :) I'm using the computer I helped my dad pick out and buy for my mom at least 5 years ago if not longer (I'm thinking 8). It is missing the apostrophe key, hence all the I'ms(oh wait spell checker fixes them! lol)... So much has changed, but much has remained the same.

People ask where I'm from all of the time. I always give them this long drawn out story of how Ive lived in different places equal number of years so each is part of me. This is true, but riding in the back of the car this time down my street it was different. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

THIS IS HOME.

Walking in the door was very different this time. My mom is in Utah with Bob, he had surgery yesterday. Dana is in Jerusalem. Logan is in California. And of course, my dad is gone. But my two youngest brothers, who are both much littler than they were the last time I saw them (I think together they've lost 75lbs) greeted us at the door. Along with Griffy the family westie.

I love Indianapolis and actually, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the town my family has spent the last 14 years in. Its definitely not the same as when I lived here over 8 years ago, but it is still home.

This house, this kitchen, this yard, this dog is all home. It smells like home still, too. I love this place, I love being here.

Even though my dad is gone, this place still is home.
Even though Ive grown up and moved on and have John, all that started here. This is home.

A huge portion of my heart will forever be in this place. First, a chunk stayed when I left for college. Another chunk stayed behind when I left this place as a wife. The largest portion stayed behind when my father passed away and I rushed HOME to be with my family.

I think for all of these reasons, I feel most complete in this place, as a human being. Everything seems to fall into place a little easier, I think more clearly, I am most like the me I remember before LIFE happened.

I love my life now. Sure would I change a couple of our current situations if it were up to me, probably... but I love it. However, I now know I have a very simple answer for a very simple question. This is the place I will ALWAYS call home, no matter who lives in the house, or where I spend Christmas or Thanksgiving holidays. This very house, where I no longer have a room, will always be HOME to me.