Friday, February 27, 2009

Internalizing... Part 1

So I don't often share dreams that I have with people. I personally don't think they tell a whole lot most of the time. Plus, I very rarely have dreams at all, ever. And when I do...most of my dreams are usually recurring "nightmares" that I've had since I was a kid. You know like the big bad wolf chasing me through my house(and actually it's still my house from when I was 4), a huge ball trying to squish me in a castle and I can't get out, or all of my teeth falling out at the same time. But even these are very rare.

I often have the most dreams when I'm trying to make a big decision, or I'm having large amounts of stress in my life. This week I have had quite the dreams. And this morning they all culminated with me finally figuring out what all the dreaming was about. There were finally faces on all of the people, and although a slightly different situation than what is going on right now in my real life, explains how I feel.

You see, I've been trying to figure out how to say what I want to say about my Mom and Bob's wedding and how to say it so that NO ONE can take it the wrong way. So let me tell you some things I already knew and some realizations I've had through my dreams and through telling EVERYONE that asked about how Big Day went.

Some things I already knew long before Saturday:
  1. My Father, Shawn Blackburn will be with my family and I through eternity if we do our part. He is no more "gone" now than he was before Saturday. He still loves me and I still love him more than life itself. Nothing can change this information.
  2. My Mom was so lonely before Bob, I didn't know what to do or say to help her.
  3. Since Bob, my Mom is SO HAPPY! I want my Mom to be happy. She has a long life ahead of her and I want her to be happy.
  4. Bob is an AMAZING man. He treats my Mom like gold, and I love him for that. I also think that he is happier now than he was, and he shouldn't have to be lonely for the rest of his life either.
  5. I LOVE my family. My immediate family growing up had our issues, like all families do, but I still love them more than they know. My wonderful family that I married into is so amazing and have welcomed me with open arms despite all of my flaws and imperfections. My extended family, although I rarely get to see a lot of them is full of AMAZING people that love each other unconditionally.

Well I HAVE to go to school. I don't think my 17 7year olds would survive long without a teacher. But rest assured... I'll be back to post my dreams later :)

1 comment:

Lee Family said...

I'm glad that you are able to sort your feeling out. Sending you love from Me, Megan and Toby (we're the ones reading this) :)