Spring has Sprung!

I think it was Tuesday when we came out of school and had 700 things we were thinking about when we saw that our ever faithful tree that we park in front of every day looked like this...

So yes, you can hate me. it was at least 65 degrees here every day this week and here comes the green hue to the desert... if only for a little while. I'M LOVING IT!

Internalizing... Part 2 The Dreams

Well, I should have written this part first because I'm not remembering my dreams as clearly as I was this morning. So I will just share with you last nights dream that I can remember... just know that in some way or another the two other dreams I had this week were related.


I don't know where John is in this whole thing, because the whole rest of his family, is in this dream as part of my family, but he is no where to be found. Also, the has only been faceless people in my dreams except for the members of my family.

So for the majority of my dream I was engaged to this boy whose family was very rich. We had a big family dinner put on by his family in this really fancy ballroom. All of his family aunts, uncles, cousins were all there and of course they had invited my family. My dad was there along with my mom and my siblings, but also John's mom, dad, sister, brother in law, and their kids were all there too. Yes.. odd I know.

But the best part was right before dessert they had all the "new" members of the family (babies, adoptions, other marriages etc) stand up and they all voted or something on each one as to whether or not they supported and would accept this particular person into their family. So I was standing across the room from my 'fiance' waiting my turn to be "voted on," but they skipped me so I went to the bathroom. When I got back I made a big scene by walking across the room and kissing him (not just a peck) in front of everyone ( I don't think John and I have ever kissed like that in front of people..EVER)

And mom if you're reading this, I know the reason this happened in my dream is because of how you kissed Bob at the wedding... I think I'm scarred for life! Any of you that were there are witnesses to the truthfulness of this statement ;)

Anyway, then my whole family stood up to be voted into their family. And that's when I finally saw faces on all of the people in the room... they were all the faces of Bob's family. It's also when I woke up, so the verdict's still out, the vote is still being tallied, I don't know if I'm in or out.

But that about sums it up.

My Mom and Bob's wedding was beautiful. I now have an additional 40 or so members of my family. I consider them family, I will treat them like family, I will love them like family... but I don't know if I've been voted into the family, or off the island.

Their jury is still out. I don't know if it's me, or if it's because they don't realize that my Mom will never be able to nor will she try to take the place of their mother/grandmother. I really don't understand. But if or when they decide they want me to be a part of it, I hope I'll still be just as willing as I was last Saturday to make it work.

The only problem is I'm not the most patient person. Everyone knows that!

So what do you think? Did I internalize enough of my life recently? Is it normal to have dreams like this? What is your take on my dream?

Internalizing... Part 1

So I don't often share dreams that I have with people. I personally don't think they tell a whole lot most of the time. Plus, I very rarely have dreams at all, ever. And when I do...most of my dreams are usually recurring "nightmares" that I've had since I was a kid. You know like the big bad wolf chasing me through my house(and actually it's still my house from when I was 4), a huge ball trying to squish me in a castle and I can't get out, or all of my teeth falling out at the same time. But even these are very rare.

I often have the most dreams when I'm trying to make a big decision, or I'm having large amounts of stress in my life. This week I have had quite the dreams. And this morning they all culminated with me finally figuring out what all the dreaming was about. There were finally faces on all of the people, and although a slightly different situation than what is going on right now in my real life, explains how I feel.

You see, I've been trying to figure out how to say what I want to say about my Mom and Bob's wedding and how to say it so that NO ONE can take it the wrong way. So let me tell you some things I already knew and some realizations I've had through my dreams and through telling EVERYONE that asked about how Big Day went.

Some things I already knew long before Saturday:

1. My Father, Shawn Blackburn will be with my family and I through eternity if we do our part. He is no more "gone" now than he was before Saturday. He still loves me and I still love him more than life itself. Nothing can change this information.
2. My Mom was so lonely before Bob, I didn't know what to do or say to help her.
3. Since Bob, my Mom is SO HAPPY! I want my Mom to be happy. She has a long life ahead of her and I want her to be happy.
4. Bob is an AMAZING man. He treats my Mom like gold, and I love him for that. I also think that he is happier now than he was, and he shouldn't have to be lonely for the rest of his life either.
5. I LOVE my family. My immediate family growing up had our issues, like all families do, but I still love them more than they know. My wonderful family that I married into is so amazing and have welcomed me with open arms despite all of my flaws and imperfections. My extended family, although I rarely get to see a lot of them is full of AMAZING people that love each other unconditionally.

Well I HAVE to go to school. I don't think my 17 7year olds would survive long without a teacher. But rest assured... I'll be back to post my dreams later :)

Summary of the BIG Day

Well I'm still not quite sure as to what all I want to say/post/remember about my mom's wedding. Just know It was BEAUTIFUL, AWKWARD, and I did have an emotional BREAKDOWN. I will post more soon, when I'm not so tired!

Family

To me, family means trust. Family means unconditional love despite emotions. Family means EVERYTHING! Family is not necessarily blood related or marriage related. Family means people who you can feel 100% yourself with 100% of the time and even when you're a jerk, they still forgive you and love you anyway.

I just have to say I LOVE LOVE LOVE my family! I'm so excited to see my immediate family. My mom got here yesterday, my siblings get here tomorrow. They just LOVE me so much, and make me feel so good about being ME. Very few people do that for me, but my mom and siblings are some of the few.

Let's hope everything goes well. Pray that I'll be able to keep my hormones under control and my emotions in check. Believe me, I'll need it!

Also, I must say that I really, really like Bob and his entire family that I've had the chance to get to know. I'm not sure how they are feeling about the whole situation, but I'm really hoping to gain lots more family through this experience.

Now for the rest of the story...

So let's face it I have to be honest with myself. I went to the school board meeting feeling very angry and defensive. Which is why I would not allow myself to speak during the call to the public, although I had thought about it all week long. Luckily John who is always calm, cool, and collected decided he would share our joint sentiments in an non angry, informative, and researched sort of way (my version would have included a lot of usage of the words stupid and ridiculous and probably yelling as well).

The first 3 and a half hours of the board meeting were ridiculous. I mean really, we do not need to discuss etch-a-sketching on the district web site (click to etch-a-sketch away), the fairness/cleanliness of lunch workers wearing fake fingernails, or the effectiveness of our janitors ability to clean a urinal at a board meeting. Many of the items did not need to be on the agenda either. But our school board really needs some knowledge as to where their place is and what their jobs are. It is no fault on anyone really, they just need some training. I hope they are able to get it so that we can have a functioning board that doesn't drive me crazy!

Honestly, John wanted us to leave 2 hours before we actually did. But I said no, because all the items I wanted to hear them discuss they hadn't yet. John ended up translating anyway and so we were able to stay and hear them discuss all of their issues. It's a good thing. The WHOLE meeting was a big misunderstanding. It ALL could have been resolved with 1 phone call. I hope it showed the board members that there is no point in getting all riled up or manipulate things so your more likely to get your way.

When the board members finally acknowledged that they were misinformed I felt much better. I just wish all of the people that were there at the beginning of our meeting would have been able to hear how our schools are really doing.

I know I live in a small community...but I still can't figure out how information gets so twisted so easily.

To the school board members: I appreciate what you're trying to do...really I understand that you think you're doing what's best. But please from now on, you get your OWN information straight from the horse's mouth. Trust the people you have hired. Don't listen to rumors and don't jump to conclusions. And please, please, please... put a curfew on the board meetings of say 9:00. (That still gives you 4 hours!)

What does internet etch-a-sketch, fake finger nails, and a lesson on "how to clean a urinal" all have in common?

Yes it is 12:30... yes I should be in bed... but I'm afraid if I sleep on it the "funnies" of the night might be forgotten. So here I sit... writing for your entertainment (ok really it's just for my entertainment).

Well tonight I accomplished a necessary, but usually tedious, task of attending our local school board meeting. Usually when you go to a board meeting they have an agenda. They also generally start at the beginning of said agenda and work their way through it unless there are people there that are waiting to hear or speak on a specific item. Tonight there were over 50 items to be discussed.

Tonight, all rules went out the window (apparently). While we did start at the beginning... we definately didn't proceed through the rest of the agenda that way. The board had wanted a walk through of the district web site. The designer is quite long winded, and I have tended to be very easily annoyed this week so I got up and took a break. When I came back the designer of the website was showing the school board that you could etch-a-sketch on the district web site. It was hilarious... what it had to do with what the school board was trying to accomplish I'm not really sure. But it did give me something to text my sister about to keep me occupied.

After the tour of the website we skipped around some again and discussed the food service's adoption of a new health code/requirements. Tonight I was especially grateful for the food service people becuase they continued to make the meeting interesting. The director made sure to point out that she didn't fire the worker because of her fake finger nails...she gave her a weeks notice to make a decsion. Well, she retired. Needless to say, apparently you can't have fake finger nails and work in the food service department at our school.

Well the niquil is kicking in so I'm off to bed... but don't worry this was only the first hour and a half of the 7 hour meeting!

I love getting stuff... but giving is so much better!

So a couple of my friends have done versions of this post... I'm posting both of theirs... and then my own version...

From Gretchen
From Nivette

For All of You from Me :)

Well I'm a fun loving girl... so... I will promise the first 10 people that comment on this post that

1. I will do/make/buy/or have John cook something for you/your family/or some stranger you want to pass the goods onto.
2. You can put in your comment what you would like from me... (But, I make no promise that I will take your advice.)
3. You must do something of the same sort of "Be nice to other people" thing on your blog/facebook/etc. Just send me the link.
4. You must be willing to provide me with your address if I decide it's something I want to mail you.

There are no guarentees that you will like whatever it is that I choose for your "payment," unless of course you choose to have John cook for you...I don't know of anyone that hasn't loved his cooking... (even if we do almost burn down the house every time we plan to cook for other people ;)

So whomever you are, although I'm not very crafty, whether you know me in real life, or not let me know you want something from me! Off I go to serve others! Maybe it will put me in a better mood about life!

Which one to choose?

Ok, so here at my house (and Carolyn's especially) we've been doing "all things wedding" in preparation for my mom's wedding in just a couple weeks.

Here are the options for what I will be wearing to the big event. And if you're thinking "but they all look so similar" it's because only the shirt is different. Colors for the wedding are ivory and black. So which do YOU think I should wear?

Option 1

Skirt:CJ Designs

Shirt:Lane Bryant

Jacket: Lane Bryant

Option 2

Skirt:CJ Designs
Shirt:Sears (it has a sequince neckline)
Jacket: Lane Bryant

Option 3

Skirt:CJ Designs

Shirt:Lane Bryant (button down, Carolyn would have to tack it so it is shorter in the picture I just have it tucked up underneath.)

Jacket: Lane Bryant

I like each one for a different reason... so let me know what you think.

All things wedding...for my Mom of course!

Well my Mom is in Indiana and Carolyn (the most talented person I know), "The Wedding Planner", is here with me so I'm posting this mostly for my mom so she can see how things are coming along. Carolyn, you'll have to comment about all of the additional things you're doing.

Here are the table centerpieces

And thanks to Sarah for modeling the veil for us! It all looks so great! I'm honestly so glad the day is almost here!

the start of the BUSY month

Well we are officially 2 days into February... this month has the potential to become the busiest one ever. I think that is how I've felt every month this school year though.. will some one please come help me off of this roller coaster!?

This month's TO DO/DON'T FORGET list

• Super Bowl and Savanna's birthday(We had a great time and once I load pictures onto the computer I'll post evidence of our fun!)
• State people at school this week
• Daytona 500 (and yes that is bigger than the super bowl at our house)
• John's Birthday
• Valentine's Day
• Parade of Homes
• Presidents' Day
• YM/YW Fundraiser dinner (this is always a blast!)
• my Mom's Wedding (which means all kinds of things like bridal showers, wedding dinners, family in town, pictures, decorations, dresses, etc.)
• Lindsay's Birthday
• Jenny and James Anniversary
• Blue and Gold Banquet
• Cannery Day... it's during school, so I still won't get to go, but I may take half a day to go anyway!

There is also the the BDES 2nd annual Health Fair, with its 2nd annual Salsa contest. The reason this is such a big deal is because John won the Salsa making contest last year... so now we always have "award winning salsa" on hand!

If I forgot something please tell me... this is the only way I can remember! I'm way to forgetful... I'd forget my head some days if it wasn't attached. I just hope now that I've written it all down that I don't forget any birthdays or forget to pick my brothers up from the airport or forget to get some member of my family a hotel room! Hopefully things go smoothly and then slow down just a bit!

Oh yes, and will you please ensure that I've done something for John for his Birthday AND Valentines...